A new beginning

I just found and joined this website today. My journey towards being debt free is only now beginning. I wanted to share my story, partly because I'm ashamed that I managed to create this kind of debt in the first place and so I rarely discuss financial matters with anyone in my life. And also because I don't just want to get out of debt. I want to change the way I think about and handle money. I want to start over.
My story probably begins during my childhood. My father who was a good farmer, but knew absolutely nothing about business lost the family farm when I was 6 or 7. We were very poor in those years. When the furnace broke, it stayed that way for several years even though we lived in snow country. I remember church members giving us food etc. so we could get by. By the time I was 12 or so both my parents had new jobs and things were better financially. Money was something that was never discussed, although I knew they were in debt and things were tighter than they seemed. Saving was not a value that was taught at all in that environment. When I was 14 my parents divorced. Since all my siblings were older and already moved out, it was just my mom and I during my high school years. When I was 16 I got a job at the local grocery store and started working about 20 hours a week. Finances were really tight for my mom and I knew it. She never outright asked me to, but I started pitching in. I paid for all of my stuff including everything from school trips to new clothes to the kind of shampoo I wanted. I also started helping with groceries etc around the house. I worked a lot of hours those years, but put absolutely nothing in savings. We had to support the way we were living right then.
So I moved away for college and everything was fine until graduation (other than the accumulation of student loans). After graduation I couldn't find a full time job. Even though I was working 2 part time jobs, I couldn't pay the bills. I was charging groceries so that I'd have enough to pay other bills. After a year of creating more debt and more debt, I moved again to start graduate school. During my graduate school years my debt load stayed about the same (except for those pesky student loans again). It did increase a little when I went without a job for about 6 weeks. After graduate school, again I couldn't find a position in my field. After accumulating debt for about 4 months I reluctantly moved home. 2 months later I moved cross country and started a new job. I could barely get by because of the almost $10,000 in credit card debit I'd accumulated.
For about 4 years my budget was extremely tight. There were weeks I didn't know how I'd pay for groceries, but I didn't charge any more. I was going to change and I kind of did. In fact I paid off most of that credit card debt. Then about 1 year ago several things changed. I had a new job with a better income. I bought my first house and a new vehicle. Mortgage and car payments were similar to previous rent and car payments. Then my house needed a ton of work and I really wanted to get things done. And because my views about money had not changed, I felt very deprived from my 4 years of trying to pay off bills. Old habits took hold and I made very poor and stupid financial decisions.
At this point I have about $20,000 in unsecured debt. I also still have the mortgage and car loan. And from my 9 years of college I have about $89,000 in student loans. Those are in forebearance right now because I had no way to make the payments.
I decided a few weeks ago that I needed to change my approach to money and that I needed help to get myself out of this situation. I've been praying about it and searching for solutions. Then today I found this site. I've already talked to my counselor and now at least I have a plan for my unsecured debt. I want to learn better values and approaches to handling finances and for once I have some hope that I am on my way!