Support From Fellow Mods...

that must be hard.you have my thoughts and prayers my friend.

Sue,
Letting go of your kids at any age is hard. When my oldest moved across the country to go to college at age 18, I literally felt like I had been sucker-punched. Your relationship definately will change, there's no way around it.
Try and still stay a part of his daily life via email, texts and the school he will be going to in the fall--see if there's a way you can find out how's he's doing in class, and whether they will send you a copy of his report cards.
Alot of teachers now have email, so that's a possibility as well. Most of all, make sure he knows that you will always be there for him, even though you might not be in the same state--and be there to help him thru the culture shock I know he's going to have.

I know exactly how you feel, I have been there. It's a very difficult thing to face. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Thank you all very much for the supportive thoughts. It's definitely not easy, and I spoke to him today and can already hear the change in his voice. He actually sounds almost exactly like his dad now, in his mannerisms and tone - so strange that it happened so quickly.

His dad got him a laptop computer, so I'm hoping to be able to keep in touch with him that way. Some friends of ours came over tonight, unexpectedly, and though I really wasn't "up" for company tonight, it was good that they came over, because we all sat around the fire outside and chatted, and it made me feel better about things.

I know he'll be ok there - it's not that I'm worried about that - it's just hard to let him go when he's always been with me. I'll adjust eventually, it's just going to take time for me to stop thinking that I have to plan things with him included, and that I have to buy certain foods to please his picky palate, and that I have to pick him up from school...etc.

*hug*

Suebee - this is really tough news.

Hope you cherish the moments you spent with your son and look forward for some more good times when he is back home.

Suebee, I know it was hard to let go and I ADMIRE you for doing so. It says alot for you as a mom, that your son was comfortable enough to talk to you about this and that althought it is painful for you to do this, you let him go to his dad. You should be proud of him and you. He is secure enough in the fact that you love him and that you will always be there for him, he is able to try an new experience. I know you will keep in touch with him and continue to be involved and be the incredible mom you are to him. You are simply amazing. :hug:

Thank you all....your supportive words are really a big help!

Keep a thought/prayer in mind for me...it doesn't rain but it pours sometimes. My older son just backed my van into a dumpster and dented the rear hatch and broke out the window in the hatch completely. I don't have collision insurance to cover this, so my car insurance will not cover it. I don't know how I'm going to fix this, but it's just one more thing.... :roll:

Good Grief, Sue-it does come all at once! I know exactly how you feel,we have talked about this. I went through the same thing with my oldest. Decided to move from Okla to NC to move in with his dad--thought I was going to die, but I knew to deny this would only make it worse and him have hard feelings wth me..He moved, but didn't stay out there forever, like I thought. His dad,after a while, didn't seem to have alot of time with him,like when he was there once a year.

Now that my son has grown up and is an adult--he can look back and see where his main support came from. His dad was all gung ho about him being there at first--went and did everything fun..then the step mom got kinda tired of it,I guess and it wasn't as much fun..From experience, just stay in contact,always be supportive and refrain from talking negative about his dad(hard I know!), so it won't make it more glamourous for him--good luck---I am here to talk--as far as your van--will say a prayer that something comes up for you--try to call around to different glass companies,craigs list, etc, to see how much it will be,so you can get an idea of the price--hang in there!..karen :hug:

Thanks, Karen!

I've got a line on getting the van window repaired for about $200, so now I just need to come up with the money for it. (sigh) :roll:

Had a conversation with the ex today in which he pretty much confirmed what I was thinking...he's not going to let my son come back to live with me - at least not willingly. I know from dealing with him in the past with our older son that even if our youngest expresses a desire to come back to live with me, he will find a way to make him stay - he'll play the pity card (poor me, I never get any time with you, this will hurt my feelings) or he will buy him off by saying he had all these fun things planned and won't be able to do it if our son moves back to my house. Either way, I know my youngest will cave and stay there. He's a peacemaker (much like I am) and will give in at the first hint that he might be hurting his dad's feelings.

I never say anything negative about his dad in front of him. I also don't care to get into a battle with his dad like I did when our older son moved back in with me after living with him for 3 years.

During a phone conversation today, my ex made a statement about wanting me to promise that I would "stand behind our arrangement" and that our son would go back to his house after visits up here, and that I wouldn't try to make him stay. That statement just confirmed to me that he's not going to let him move back up here to live, even if that's what our son wants. He'll pressure him to stay there, and our son, being the way he is, will give in, to keep his dad happy. :(