To all of you who are keeping your debts from your spouse
Date: Thu, 09/18/2008 - 07:58
To all of you who are keeping your debts from your spouse
I was one of those people. My husband did not know about my seven payday loans. I was living in a nightmare of shame and secrecy.
After reading a post from another member here about her success in telling her husband, I got up the courage to come clean with my husband. It was difficult, but he was supportive and was able to get a loan from a family member to pay off my loans. We now have to pay the family member, but with no interest and on a reasonable payment schedule.
So, to all those out there hiding their pdl secret, I want to encourage you to take that first step out of your personal hell and talk to your spouse. It will probably be one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do to come clean, but it is the only way you will become free.
Good luck to everyone.
It will make your marriage stronger too. I know that my husband
It will make your marriage stronger too. I know that my husband didn't take it well to begin with because I wasn't honest with him so I had to regain that trust. Trust is so important in a marriage and can be broken in a second but take years to build back. Please, for your own sake, be honest with your partner. Nobody needs the stress of living with secrets.
Thank you for that info. It's great that you got through it.
Thank you for that info. It's great that you got through it.
I agree you should not keep it from your spouse. I have heard that some have split up due to finance problems. So you do not need the added stress of trying to keep it a secret. Dealing with the pdl's is stressfull enough.
Congrats, you must feel so much better! It is hard, but better
Congrats, you must feel so much better! It is hard, but better than keeping the secret.
I will second that! I too had "hidden" our mess for many months,
I will second that! I too had "hidden" our mess for many months, I could not sleep, I cried all the time, I tried everything I could think of to "make it better" I only ended up making things much worse. Once I came clean, I finally had peace, my husband was very upset at first and scared as he didn't know how we were going to fix it all, but after days of talking calmly about it, we finally worked it out. I would have to agree it brought us closer I think we both learned lessons from it. Lessons about honesty and about our relationship. I will never keep anything like this from him again, I pray I will never be in a mess like this again.
congrats! i try to hide my debt from pretty much everyone and i
congrats! i try to hide my debt from pretty much everyone and i know how stressful it is. i'm glad it worked out.. it always seems so much easier when working things out with the support of a loved one.
paying off debts have taught me so much, not even just about money but about life.
That is so true ... not that I'm GLAD or anything, but I have le
That is so true ... not that I'm GLAD or anything, but I have learned so much and know I am a better person. You don't need "stuff" to be happy, your own inner peace is so much more important (as lame as it sounds!)
Good for you! My debts are finally down enough that my boyfriend
Good for you! My debts are finally down enough that my boyfriend knows about them. He has debts too, but now we share.
