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How does this happen???

Date: Fri, 07/20/2007 - 16:44

Submitted by anonymous
on Fri, 07/20/2007 - 16:44

Posts: 202330 Credits: [Donate]

Total Replies: 6

How does this happen???


Hello I am a financial mess with money. I don't even know when it exactly started but it was at least 5 years ago. I don't even have a huge reason why. I have never been very truthful with my husband regarding the bills and it always seemed like regardless of the raises or how much we made, it was never enough. About 3 years ago we even had our boat repoed. After begging my husband for forgiveness in the middle of the night(he didn't know we were behind of payments), he stayed. During this time period I bounced a lot of checks and was lucky enough to not go to jail for it (we paid them). Now over the past 2 weeks he has learned of my problem with payday loan companies. The really messed up thing is that we make around $150,000 per year. How does this happen? Luckly my husband took a new job this year (which he is hating) and I got a decent bonus. We have recently spent over $10,000 getting out of these things and still owe roughly $2500. I feel like the biggest slime on the face of the earth. I wish I would have talked to him about it and the cycle would have ended a lot earlier. Somehow, I just thought I could handle it and eventually I would be able to pay down and then end the cycle. I would say if there is a loan company in the phone book, I have used them at one time or another. I did stop payments at one point, most of them got their money anyway, made me broke again and then gave me another loan. I think we figured out I have paid over $35,000 in fees. How many vacations did I steal from my kids, cars, oh if I could have that money back. It is sickening.

I am seeing a psychologist at the end of the month. One has to wonder if there is a lose wire in your head to ever believe this was a good idea. Honestly, there were times I could imagine I felt like a druggie searching for my next hit while looking for the next loan just to make it through. If there is anything positive in this, it is that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel thanks to my husband taking a crappy job. My husband is still in the house, my children are healthy and beautiful. My quest in life now is to put my family back together, give financial reigns to my husband, and teach my children about financial responsibility.

Thank you all for listening. Thank you for answering my questions when I have had them. I would hope if anyone stumbles across this board as I did. Please, be honest with those who you love. It only makes things worse to not be, and this cannot be done alone. If there is anyone out there thinking of taking another loan to help pay for the others, DON'T DO IT. It will never help and the cycle will never end.

Take care and best wishes to you all.


Hi there! Please don't be so hard on yourself. There are so many of us that have been in your situation. We are all here for each other every step of the way, whether you need addresses, advice for dealing with these companies, or just need to talk. Do you still have outstanding payday loans you need assistance with? We will help in any way we can. Thanks for sharing your story with us. You are certainly not alone. My husband had no idea how deep in payday loans I was and I dont think he does now even though I told him who all I owed. You are so right about honesty. :)It sucks to have to hide stuff!!


lrhall41

Submitted by Sassnlucy on Fri, 07/20/2007 - 17:08

( Posts: 2698 | Credits: )


Hi, welcome to the site. I'm so glad you found us, I hope we can make you feel better here.

I understand what you're feeling..My husband and I are both college-educated professionals, but two years ago it just wasn't enough and I got myself in over my head with payday loans. Like you, I kept it from my husband for almost 6 months. I don't think he knows to this day how awful it was and the stress I put myself through. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown, maybe I did. Luckily, payday loans were the only serious issue we had, but if I hadn't found this site when I did things would've escalated and we would've ended up in a world of hurt.

You're on the right track. Honesty is so important..No matter how bad things are, telling the truth makes it soo much better. Keep doing what you;re doing, I promise you're going to be ok. Please, stick around, you can be an inspiration to others, and you can gain so much here.


lrhall41

Submitted by finsfan13 on Fri, 07/20/2007 - 17:39

( Posts: 6919 | Credits: )


I won't repeat what the others have said other than to say: ditto for me too. However as bad as I have always been handling money..I have found that doing a credit counseling course has helped. Another thing I have realized is that we live in a world of NOW. Everyone wants everything NOW.We have to go back and know that the things that are most important we can not buy with money..


lrhall41

Submitted by Morningstarr430 on Fri, 07/20/2007 - 17:48

( Posts: 2329 | Credits: )


Thank you all. I really helps to get it out and to know that others have been there. You are all right in what you have said. I will stick around and help as much as I can. I'm not big on knowing the laws and all of that, but I know the emotional side. This is a great site and has helped alot already. I have made arrangements with everyone except the last storefronts. I have had a lot of help regarding letters, laws, and contact info. I am paying them down and they should be done in no time. I will ensure to file a complaint with the AG even though they are paid. I remember when the boom of stores hit my state. I wish it had never been allowed. They are so harmful to people.

Thanks again for everything.


lrhall41

Submitted by anonymous on Fri, 07/20/2007 - 18:05

( Posts: 202330 | Credits: )


How true the following quote from Morningstarr really is!!!!
"We have to go back and know that the things that are most important we can not buy with money.. " My husband and I now sit down and go over bills together, he is totally aware of every single thing that is due and if it's late! It has been better since telling him all the secrets of the PDL's but he doesn't trust me with the finances yet! That's ok, I don't deserve it , YET!


lrhall41

Submitted by bflow30 on Sat, 07/21/2007 - 07:33

( Posts: 519 | Credits: )